Coming out is often shown as a single dramatic moment, but it is never a one-time thing. It is a journey, and most often it is in stages. To you, to your friends, to your family. But it mainly has to be to yourself, and that is more than enough because this journey is never easy, but it is very personal.  

Here are some ways you can define your own coming out  

Celebrate a quiet courage.  

Not every story needs to be in the spotlight. You can choose a more subtle way to show people who you are. 

Sometimes, wearing a wristband with your pride colour tells people who you are; it speaks for you. 

You can also opt to decorate your apartment or your room with those subtle butterflies, like fading wall art. It gets the point across to the people who look into it 

If you’re into home decor, you can incorporate your respective pride flag into your decor like a throw blanket, a throw pillow, cups and plates, etc. 

Sometimes you can choose to wear your identity. I, for one, try to incorporate my favourite queer vloggers’ outfits into my everyday outfits. It makes me feel like I belong   

opt to come out without labels   

I personally love to be myself and let people answer their own questions. Especially because I often use gender neural pronouns and terms while talking about a partner, or I switch to my native language because pronouns don’t exist in it. 

Come out to yourself first  

You first need to accept yourself before you put yourself out there. Take your time to truly understand who you are. My realisations came in stages: first at 13, then in my second year of high school, and finally when I was 19.

It’s understandable to take a long time to realise who you are and even longer to come to terms with it  

Just take your time, I guarantee it’s worth it, and to aid your journey, you can opt to start journaling, reading books and comics, watching films, or even writing letters to your future self  

You are the one to define what your coming out will look like      

There is no one way to come out; it doesn’t have to be dramatic, verbal or public. It can be the way you dress, the books you read, the washi tape you use or the way you decorate your apartment. As long as it makes sense to you, then that is what matters.  

However you choose to come out isn’t as important as your safety. It’s okay to stay closeted, and you should never feel pressured to do so  

It should be an act of self-love from you to you